GTA doesn't have that WoW factor (luckily!)

Friday 23 May 2008

This weekend DW and Darkshadowfang have gone off to a festival, so this will be the first of three articles I'll be posting this weekend to keep a constant supply of articles on the blog. This one was prompted by the disease that appears to be spreading throughout my social group, mentioned in previous posts. This disease in question has been spreading for some months now, and is called World of Warcraft.

I don't play WoW, I've never had the urge, and, to be honest, I'm not a great fan of MMORPGs, which explains why I'm ripping WoW in this blog. But what I am a fan of (at the moment, if I was writing this blog 6 months ago, it would have been to do with CoD) is GTA. But out of my group of friends, only DW owns and actually plays GTA, so I ask what are they all busy doing? Killing trolls and orcs on WoW. While what am I doing? Blowing shit up. Which sounds cooler to you?

Now, I'm not going to disparrage the poor sad acts who sit there playing it for 26 hours a day, because that's a mental condition, and you need professional help with that; me taking the fucking piss won't end those people's suffering. No, I'm confused at the people who play it 'socially'. 'Social' gaming. Using WoW to traverse long distances--in the name of society. Face it. Gaming is not social. I mean, let's take the example of Xbox Live. Go into a lobby on CoD and, if it's predominantly American, I get pummeled with 10,012 bad impressions of an English accent, that makes them sound like they have a crumpet stuck in their fucking throat. Is that social gaming? Just because it involves other people doesn't mean that it's social. Getting punched in the face isn't a social activity (I don't count boxing, they wear oven mits), even though it involves more than one person. If you want to further society, you don't escape into another society, in the hopes of finding something better. If you turn your back on society, it will turn its back on you. And to game, you must accept that. If you want to be social, go out, pick up the phone, even use some variety of IM. That's social.

Three problems with WoW are money, finance and funding. These don't happen all at the same time. WoW goes through your money first, then your finance as you remortage your house, and finally you're forced to dip into your business' funds. If you still have a business, and it hasn't become 'Property of BlizzCorp.' GTA doesn't charge me monthly. I know there'll be a lot of sighs at me bringing up money (because true gaming transcends monetary interests), but really? 18 quid for two months. Well, let's see, that's 9 GBP per month, and that's £108 a year, plus about 11 for the original game. So for a year's play of WoW, you pay the same amount as GTA plus two years Xbox Live. But... here's the bit I really don't understand... in WoW, you don't even get an M14. I'm lost... why are people playing this game again? So, you see, this is where I'm no longer blaming the addicts, because they get the most out of their £9 a month (in fact more, as they're playing two hours more than physically possible a day). But these 'social' WoW gamers, who honestly honestly honestly aren't addicted, are paying monthly just to keep the game running. At worst, you could be paying £9 a month just to play for a couple of days.

Also, the plot in GTA is fantastic. Not so much for WoW. GTA has drugs, sex and rock and roll. WoW has thugs, apex, blackrock and trolls. GTA has fast cars, and the mafia. The mafia! Where is the incentive to play WoW over GTA? In GTA you get paid, regularly, to blow shit up. But, most importantly, GTA has an innovation that I will love them forever for. Taxis.

Now, I know that Taxis weren't actually invented by Rockstar, but their use in GTA is completely innovative. Back when I used to play Oblivion (a fantastic game), when I first bought it I said to myself, I will not use the transport system. And why should I? The graphics were beautiful, and it ruined the realism of the game. I was never in a hurry to get anywhere anyway. But then, it just became impractical, so you know I compromised with myself, I'll just transport to the nearest city, and then walk it from there. Still get to experience the beautiful graphics, and it was realistic enough, but it was also practical. But, by the time I had clocked up my 2000th hour on the game, I decided that fuck it, life's too short for this walking shit. So I just beamed from place to place, and began to get impatient that I couldn't beam even closer to where I wanted to go. And even worse when I had to get somewhere new, I actually had to fucking walk there! What kinda game were they playing?! (An RPG, they answered.)

This was the problem, I desperately wanted to walk, maintain the realism of the game, but I couldn't be bothered! But Taxis answered this question! They were realistic (even had the annoying cab drivers who 'decided to take the long way'), but they also took you exactly where you wanted. And then, you had the opportunity to watch the entire journey (if you had the luxury of time), or skip it, for an extra fee of course. This extra fee translated to me into some kind of punishment for not watching the graphics. And, most importantly, they weren't available at the push of a button. In some cases, taxis were exceedingly rare at some points in the day, and this just added to the realism. Having to run five blocks to find any taxis, and then 20 running you down in the middle of the road at once. You even swear at them when they don't stop! Taxis are the best innovation of any game in recent years. More efficient than trains (they go exactly where you want), and just as realistic. But quicker than finding a car that's the right colour, BHP etc for your tastes.

This is the real reason why I don't understand why people play WoW. It doesn't have taxis. What were Blizzard thinking? The other thing is it doesn't have Nico Bellic. And let's face it, Nico is like a sarcastic Jack Bauer, a smooth Jason Bourne, or a modest god. Nico and Taxis. The best WoW got is the undead (yeah, they were cool in House of the Dead, but without the shotgun, what's the point?) Lastly, what WoW is missing, that would make me play it is IF99: the funk station on GTA. Nico, taxis and IF99. Any of those things would make me play it. Get all three, and hell, I won't just pay for the game and a year's subscription, I'll buy all the extras, expansions and shit. Even if I do have to remortgage Darkshadowfang's barn for it.

Labels: GTA4, Original, World Of Warcraft

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Article Posted: Friday 23 May 2008 at 12:11.
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